Evening out

No, sillies. I’m not having an evening out. I’m even-ing out. Today was my last day on two steroid doses – tomorrow I’ll go down to one in the morning and only a half in the afternoon. Damn. Forgot to buy a pill cutter at pharmacy earlier. I need more steroids to remember this sort of thing. These pills are tiny and I’ll never manage on my own. My hands tremble a little, but it’s getting better.

This all came down like a bolt from the blue. And, as I see on the calendar now, a mere three weeks ago. I keep thinking it’s been months. On tax day. That’s when everything went to shit again. (Figures.) But what a reversal again in three weeks.

In other drug news, I’ve reached the end of my starter bottle of dabrafenib, which as you may recall I was “gifted” at the beginning of my treatment. Its label was partially torn off, because it had belonged to another patient (whom I am fairly sure I was told has survived). Tonight, I start my very own bottle with my own name on it. Legitimacy!

We’ve started working with a home organizer. J struggled very hard to not honor our appointment with her this morning, and I bared fangs, but he came through, and there are bags and bags of old electronics and crap on the way out of this house. I took my first unmedicated nap in weeks while they worked. Then she spent an hour with me. Exhibits A & B:


I’ll be sleeping much better next to Exhibit B tonight. I’m sure of it.

J needed to do some work in the afternoon, and we don’t have a sitter to pick up the kids from school on Wednesdays, so I had to do it. First Young A, from his after school art class. He told me about his new teacher who started today, and will be working with him an hour a day to improve his social skills. Over a cupcake, he assessed that his new teacher is “blonde, about 42, and she sure likes to boss me around!” I think she’ll do nicely. In another completely random rose the universe has lobbed at me, I made a new friend at the cupcake shop. We have all kinds of things in common, and she’d just recently moved here. The extraordinary coincidences are becoming commonplace, almost.

Then we went over to Young J’s after school soccer class. The last time I really watched Young J play soccer, it was classic ADHD. He was playing goalie but gazing up at clouds, the ball rolled into the goal, and he cheered for the other team. I didn’t mind, I would never mind that – we aren’t particularly sporty folk, and if you haven’t guessed, I happen to very much like people who defy expectations, and maybe sometimes let people down. Because what is more human than that? Today, he was goalie again, and I saw him tracking the ball better. He stopped a couple. He didn’t stop a couple more. But he was enjoying the game, the air, his friends, all of it.

I had a cupcake for him, but it was close to dinnertime. It takes precarious handling when Young J is this exhausted. He is in school until 4, and an extra hour of soccer, on top of seasonal allergies, can make him melt down pretty handily. I had a plan, though, and it helps Young J if you have a plan. I offered him either protein or a banana as soon as he got home. Some ice water. He ate the banana. Young A settled into the armchair to read himself a graphic novel that is probably way beyond his comprehension, and I sat with Young J to do math homework. It’s been weeks since I did – J or the sitter have been. I saw he has progressed to division. I was nervous. We had some tense moments. His body was exhausted and wanted to curl into a ball. I didn’t yell. I was firm though. And after a bit, he picked it up again. He started solving division by turning it into multiplication first. I got to see his mind working, almost like one of those hand-crank music boxes. What a mind it is. He plowed through math, I didn’t bother with spelling (he’s a bee champion in the making, I think), and he practiced his Hebrew reading and did another worksheet in Hebrew. He has one chapter of a book to read for tomorrow. He can do that after breakfast. What a kid, my kid.

I got some pretty lovely gifts today – one friend’s Kindle book and another’s new collection of poems. And I’m finally in a state of mind to read again, so good timing. All the books I wasn’t reading are cleared off the nightstand. Except Farmer Boy – Young J, you and I have a date. Whenever you get back from being out on your scooter, that is.

I always sing this to myself when I’m having a good day. Now you can too. Magical things are happening in this world.

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