How’m I doin’?

It’s 3:45 am. Been up for an hour. That’s actually even worse than when I was having my bedtime steroid dose, which for the first time tonight, I skipped. They do have a hold on you, the steroids. I had a list of questions about various symptoms today for Dr P. After the first three or four she said, “Am I going to need to tell you the same cause for each of these? Let’s see… YES.”

I probably slept about three hours before needing to pee. I woke up feeling like THIS was the night I’d fall right back asleep. This is more of the type of mental process of coming off steroids, however:

“We UP! WE PARTY!!! WE HAVE THE STEROID RAGER ALL NIGHT!”

soundsoflife, by frankieleon on Flickr, licensed under Creative Commons

“Stayeth in thou bed and behave, lest ye be smitten from exhaustion to-morrow.”

“WE GOTS THE STEROIDS! AND YOU CAN’T HAVE NONE!”

“And your cattle… and your brethren… and every beast of the air…”

“WHATEVER… DID SOMEONE SAY ROID PARTY???!!!”

“And the dust… and the dust… and the dust of the bones of the dust… OH FOR THE LOVE OF G-D! IT’S THE DRYEST PART OF THE TEXT EVER! JUST GO TO SLEEP!”

You see I have my work cut out for me. Tonight, I’m lucky to have a friend who drives a cab and is textable (not while driving) at these hours.

In a few hours, I am going back up to work to empty my office and say goodbye. Exactly how do you say goodbye to colleagues while crazy on steroids? I’ll tell you. You cater lunch and force the previously scheduled staff meeting to be turned into a party and you prepare a tribute to your boss (based on post from here a few days ago) and then make an attempt at recording it podcast-style because there is no way you’re getting through a live reading without tears. I’m still new at all this, though, and the sound I captured may not work in the room, so I may need to just go for a reading anyway. Oh – and for good measure, also bring your husband and your mom!! (who showed up as a great and wonderful surprise yesterday) and enjoy the conversations you will overhear between segments of your life you never thought would meet, but which is now the type of thing that has honestly become the new normal.