The day after the first day

(I should look up the Latin for that: the opposite of penultimate.)

This morning was a bit less organized, with me not actually getting out of bed until 7:20. That won’t do. I also didn’t realize that J was fasting for bloodwork, so he wasn’t getting up. Still, got the kids to school in plenty of time. But, more yelling and nagging than I would have liked.

I raced through making far less elaborate lunches (grilled cheese for one, PB&J for the other) and found the time to make my daily kale-shallot-egg scramble. (It tastes so good I can almost forget how healthy it is.)

It was my day to visit the shrink. I decided I’d better have an agenda so I wouldn’t just ramble on, and wound up exploring a lot of territory with her today. It turned out that the question I had for her, the thing that has actually troubled me about myself for years now, is no concern at all. I won’t go into it, except to say that after she answered me in a reassuring way, she went on to make a recommendation so completely beyond the scope of anything I could ever imagine a mental health professional saying that I burst out laughing. It was inappropriate, morbid, and funny as hell.

It seems to me we’re both being really cautious about the relationship we cultivate, because I could easily see us becoming friends. But then she couldn’t be my shrink anymore. And I need a shrink right now.

After the laughs, there was time to talk about my upcoming cancerversary. While my melanoma was discovered in April 2013, September 2014 was when they found the lung metastases, so for me, that is the more significant anniversary right now (since I’m still dealing with it). I’ve been on this trip for almost a year. A long, strange one, which has taxed and overtaxed me and my loved ones, given us moments of despair followed great shovelfuls of hope and relief.

On the 17th, I’ll have my next brain MRI, and get the results a mere hour later from Dr K. (Excellent news for someone like me, who prizes instant gratification.) I don’t really anticipate hearing anything bad, especially now that I’m on the dynamic duo of meds. But hey, I was wrong before, a year ago. Here’s hoping I won’t get fooled again.

Here are some random shots from my walk in Manhattan today. (À propos of, no other illustrations today.)

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