They screwed the frame into my head. The worst moment was the tightening of it. Reminded me of getting my braces tightened. The lidocaine shots in my forehead stung more than the ones in the back of my head. None of it was unbearable. Then I had an MRI.

I have some fentanyl coming through the IV. Before they gave it to me I was sobbing intermittently. I was so excited to get here and then I got here and it was real and much more scary. My nurse seems to recognize me from my time in radiation. I didn’t remember her but she reminds me a lot of my friend S, a nurse midwife. Same calm vibe.

I did ask them not to sedate me completely as I am still hoping to take this process in and remember it. We’ll see. Right now I’m starving. And sleepy. More later.